Which Button Blows up the Planet?
Maimum Anger, Maximum Killface
Badges: Campaign, Wound, Crimson Sword with Bar, Kills 100
Favorite Weapon: Heavy Machinegun
Likes: Stomping on the Faces of Aliens, Forever. He-man and the Masters of the Universe. Babes.
Dislikes: Aliens. Not Stomping on the Faces of Aliens, Forever.
Favorite Squadmate: Cpl. Jeffers
Bartimus Rankhorn was always the best at killing rats in the basement. He grew up the same way everyone else did on the Home Planets. A life of leisure and luxury, until the Great Jello Mishap. When the holding tanks erupted and Rankhorn found himself up to his hips in delicious, low-fat death, his calling became clear.
Rankhorn joined the Marine Expendtiary Force at the normal age, and as quickly proven himself to be a master of the heavy machinegun, which he affectionately calls “My Majesty.” Amongst his exploits, he is known for the defeat of the Awful Super Goo, and his intergalatically known man-hood, which he affectionately calls “My Universal Identification.”
His gruff voice, tender manner, and efficient slaughter of Xenos has made him The Daily Splatter‘s #1 most talked about Marine. He counts among his many fans Mila Kunis XIII, President Coriminer Dugstarf, and the entirety of the Interplanetary Women’s Bikini Team.
He hopes to serve the home world with distinction for many combat missions to come.